Office party on Friday everyone, bring your lawyer.

To those of you that read this, I owe you an apology. It’s been too long since I made an entry, but it isn’t for lack of trying. Wait who am I apologizing to? Nobody is reading this, the stats I see (that you can’t) prove that nobody is reading this. (4 hits in 5 days and I know 2 of those were me on a different computer.) I digress… Oh yeah, I just haven’t found much material to write about. Yeah things have happened but nothing notable. Nikki claimed all the good stuff about Skyler for her blog. Tonight it finally hit me. Sometimes material is just begging to be written about.

*****Disclaimer***** ADULT CONTENT and its LONG

A little back story… My old partner’s wife, we will call her C (her name has been changed to protect the innocent) is on some message groups for moms and stuff and they had a “Pure Romance party” not too long ago. My partner calls me last night and tells me about this party that C went to. So I started to look into them, Maybe I will talk to someone about throwing one for someone’s birthday that is coming up soon (hunny forget you read that part). Now I was thinking candles, feathers, blindfolds, maybe oils and lotions, and even lingerie and the novelty items. Boy was I wrong. These parties have a Host that comes to your house or where ever, and they bring stuff to make your sex life better and more romantic and you can order even more stuff form the catalogs too. They have all kinds of sex toys, vibrators of multiple different styles for multiple tasks, Love swings and slings, and things that go in places we just won’t mention here.

While researching these romance parties I ran across a similar yet completely different kind of party all together, this one is my favorite: Striptease classes. This place says they are able to cater the party to the abilities (and comfortabilities) of the group. This place offers a few different kinds of parties. They have what I guess is your basic “how to be a stripper” class. Then they offer the Chair party because “Everyday Women don’t have poles but everyone has a chair!” and then a themes & props party which seems pretty self explanatory and then another that combines them all into one.

I’m all for either of these (no I will not be participating in either). But here is the kicker and the point I am getting at. (FINALLY) Both of these web sites suggest reasons for these parties and what kinds of parties they are good for. They both made mention of something that, in this day and age just Blew my mind.

Direct from their website in a condensed format:

Girl’s Night Out
Mom’s Groups
Corporate Events

Bachelorette Bash
Suddenly Single
Spa Party
Office Party
Birthday Bash
Seasonal Themed parties

Really, REALLY???? An Office Party? While yes some places can get away with these kinds of things, Strip clubs, Adult stores, even the occasional escort service, but these occupations (while a vital part of society) don’t typically an office make.

A quote Directly from the Pure Romance site:

Office Party
Last year’s company outing to the bowling alley just took second place to this year’s Pure Romance party!

You have just received the new title of Pure Romance Office Party Coordinator and can expect to cash in on 10% of the party sales. For example, if your frisky little officemates purchase $500 in products, you will receive a $50 credit towards your order. You’ll no longer be wondering who stole your stapler, now you’ll be asking who took your Silver Bullet!

Picture this for the moment, you and 10 others from work (all women and maybe that gay guy that all the girls like to hang out with) sitting around talking about sex or doing a strip tease. How uncomfortable do you feel? Guys, you don’t count in this one. The only thing I thought about when I saw that was the lawsuit waiting to happen. “I was made to feel sexually inadequate when Jennifer over there could do the splits upside down on the pole and I couldn’t”, “Julie said some inappropriate things”, “I am mad that Alexandria bought the last purple rabbit when I made it very clear that I wanted one.”

Don’t get me wrong, while I am not a feminist, I am all about women learning to explore themselves, be it physically, emotionally, sexually, or spiritually. If they want to do it in these ways more power to ya. But an Office party????? That is a sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen. Can you imagine walking into the boardroom of a large corporation, and seeing dildos – sorry cake toppers, blindfolds, handcuffs, oils, and lingerie being laid out over the table? Or Imagine the talk around the water cooler the next day, “yeah Brenda bought this purple nightie it looks great on her and it’s totally see through.” The other thing… do you really want the people at work, the people you see every day, knowing what kind of vibrator you have, or that you bought the XL love swing, and paid extra for overnight delivery?????

People can sue for anything these days. “I’m suing the doctor and the hospital because I was born stupid. Furthermore they withheld that information from me. I had to hear it from the guy in the car behind me at the stop light.” While I support these parties 100%, I can’t help but wonder who in their right mind would hold one of these as an office party? Doesn’t everybody get the Sexual Harassment workshop every so often at work? As males, we can’t even give a genuine compliment to a woman without the risk of a lawsuit. Hell, its sexual harassment for a guy to even mention a strip club (I use the term 7-11) “Hey man are we all meeting at 7-11 after work? Good, I’ll see you there”

Again I support women I support their right to better themselves be it in the office or in the bed. But I believe those things should be left as they are, separate, unless, of course, you like getting your pants sued off.

One thought on “Office party on Friday everyone, bring your lawyer.

  1. thehumanpacifier

    I’m still here.

    p.s. tell Nic to start selling for one of those companies, they make some good pt money and you get free food (and booze) at all the parties! Plus, you HAVE to try the stuff if you’re going to sell it. Mostly that shoulkd benefit you too – how do you feel about love beads…


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